Stress & Strain

Breathe In

Most of my blog posts are written in coffee shops. Today's establishment is playing a confusing blend of whale music and Florence and the Machine. The tables are high enough for me to fit my legs under (which are significantly smaller since my rowing days) and the staff are always interested to learn how your coffee was. Importantly, coffee shops have conversations. My ears wonder between several at once as voices rise and fall. I don't actively attempt to shut out the surrounding voices, but instead, I use them to guide my thinking.

The inspiration for this blog comes from 'sceptic, author, speaker and Doctor' (although not necessarily in that order) Malcolm Kendrick. If you want to be enlightened as to 'What causes heart disease?' , his blog is a great place to start. If you're interested in the motivations of the pharmaceutical industry, Dr Kendrick's best-selling book, 'Doctoring Data', takes you on a witty and depressing journey through medical research: disseminating the evidence, exposing the conflicts of interest and questioning the efficacy of the nations' medicine cabinets.

The opposite side of the coffee shop is a toddler who has just finished a tantrum. The young lad wasn't allowed to play on Mum's phone (well done, Mum). The child screamed and cried because he couldn't play on a phone. Without going off on a complete tangent and launching into a Black-Mirror-esq rant about the dystopian future kids today face, the toddler was responding to an unfavourable situation by exhibiting physical and emotional stress. As Malcolm Kendrick points out, there is a critical difference between stress and strain. The child has reacted to a situation that for him provided enough stress on his undeveloped emotional system to cause a high strain response (kicking and screaming). As he gets older, his emotional intelligence, rational thinking and resilience will develop. And if he is lucky, he may even get his own phone. When he reaches adulthood, he will no doubt reflect on that fateful day when he threw a tantrum in a coffee shop and raise a wry smile.

When I began typing, a man walked in, sat down behind me and plugged his phone in. He then made a phone call to someone close to him, describing his so-far stressful day. He went on to explain how his phone had died during his earlier journey. Without his trusted A.I (google maps), his world had collapsed! Alas, he remembered the street name of where he was due to be and was able to go old-school, asking someone for directions. He arrived on time and everything worked out. But boy was he stressed. he got me thinking, how would I have reacted?

On one hand, you can understand his frustration (why didn't I charge my phone last night?) incredulous, I know. The other, more rational. What do I do now? (Rational train of thought reaction). Perhaps this man is 2.5 days into a terrible week. We don't know. What we do know is that stress comes disguised in various forms. It doesn't always wear the guise of anger, pulled hair or huffing and a puffing. Could this man suffer from chronic anxiety due to his job? Is he under financial strain? The truth is, we will never know (and no, before you ask, I am not going to turn around and ask him). Critically, we shouldn't judge.

When someone close dies, this is unanimously regarded as 'stressful'. It is undisputed and holds true across cultures. There are also hundreds of potential triggers that could elicit a stress response that is far less stressful than a death. Do we all feel each of these stressors equally? A stressful situation to one person might be a water off a duck's back to another.  And what is the value in knowing what they mean to each of us?

The more I learn about the human body, the more I realise I know so little about it. One area I’ve played close attention recently is the mind. The Iceman, Wim Hoff, who describes himself as an Extreme Athlete, is able to harness the power of his mind using a unique breathing technique. He is able to stimulate hormonal responses via a combination of mediation and a unique breathing pattern. This allows his body to withstand prolonged periods of extreme cold and even reduce the impact of an endotoxin when injected into his body during a research trial. Essentially, he is a boss at dealing with stress and appears to show no strain.

The question must be, then. How do I reduce stress on my body and learn to deal with it (like Wim)?

Seek to understand and then be understood.

There are common stressors in life that we are all familiar with (financial, family, work, social). As individuals, we find it easier to associate with the stressors of others that we are less equipped at dealing with ourselves.

For example, if you are someone who is socially stable (frequent and meaningful contacts with friends, a reciprocal and loving relationship with your partner, a supportive and understanding family) but have always struggled with financial pressures (credit card bills, loans, late bill payments) you will empathise more with someone who is struggling to pay for food or rent than with someone who has a dysfunctional relationship with their partner and an unsupportive family. This isn't to say this person would be disinterested in learning about someone who is in a dysfunctional relationship, just they may find it more difficult to relate to.

And why do I think this is important to discuss? (the above point is not binary in any way, it is simply a general observation).

Breathe Out

I believe we can all benefit from understanding what our own individual stressors are at a given time. By understanding what the root cause of your stress and where the bulk of it comes from is key if you want to treat it.

This year, more people than ever will join a gym and start an exercise regime with the belief it will make them slimmer and happier. But the truth is that those who are already gym members and attend regularly are the small minority that actually enjoys exercise in a gym. By April, most will have realised that the expensive 12-month plaster they signed up for on 2nd January was a poor investment.

I've met and worked with people who transformed their lives by changing one, seemingly small, thing.

At times, it can seem like your entire house is in disarray, grinding from one week to the next. Changing the right thing can make a dramatic difference. Do you have the insight to establish what it is, and the courage to face it and change?

I don't dispute the intention most people have when they join a gym. Get fit, lose weight, tone-up. And they're probably right. But why are you unfit, overweight and unhealthy?. It's not because you are not a gym member. Somewhere along the way, things have slipped but adding more stress to a stressful life isn't the answer. Battering your way through body-pump, psyco-spin and HIIT 'till you S**T every week in January will keep you out of the pub and give you an endorphin kick. But it's not sustainable. Eventually, life will assert itself again. Cheery stuff, hey?

I regard myself as someone who fairly relaxed. I am fortunate to not have much stress in my life although this has been a product of some tough lessons, honest conversations and hard work over the years. To double-check my sanity, I took a '360 stress test'. Note: this is NOT when 4 people hold each one of your limbs and pull until you break but instead a rather straightforward online survey. I'm proud to say I scored 63 out of 200 which puts me in the 'slightly stressed' category. The recommendations are I take more frequent breaks when working (link below), walk more often (I've been unusually sedentary recently due to ankle tendinitis) and perhaps most surprisingly, schedule humour breaks into my day (actual permission to watch cat GIFs). This is an opportunity for a little self-improvement. High expectations are a given in the workplace. The impending threat of a machine, immune from stress, taking over our job, is ever-present. One's ability to apply the brakes momentarily will be a determining factor in the workplace of the future. Can you keep your head, and all that. The paradoxical idea of stopping, or even reversing in order to progress quicker is (I think) critical. This isn’t to say mistakes shouldn’t be made as I think we could all do from failing a little more (Canadian Olympian Adam Kreek has a wonderful TED talk on this) but at least fail in the best way possible. There is no shame in that. When I find myself with one too many balls to juggle, I like to take a step outside and breathe some fresh air. This can be difficult to justify when calls are coming in, emails need replies and deadlines are looming. You may even agree that the walk is good for your health, and your work, yet you still cannot do it! What would stepping out of the office at lunch do anyway when you can sit in front of your keyboard with a bag of crisps and tap anyway? The pull of work will never subside. It will always exist and as responsibility increases, more will be expected. Not delivering is not an option. The challenge is not how long you can stay in the office (apparently this something to be proud of?) but how little you can let your work get to you. Do you have the acumen to stifle stress and hold on to your health?

(I should add, I take my work with people seriously. I engineer my day to ensure I have enough time to prepare and deliver the best session possible with everyone I work with. If I am stressed, overworked and disorganised, those I work with will feel it. I invest time and effort developing myself so I can provide a consistently excellent service).

Stress (or strain) is notoriously difficult to measure due to the reasons highlighted above. Anything that cannot be assigned a value is tough to quantify and therefore ambiguous and difficult to cross-compare or give a normative range. But there is no denying the role stress plays in our busy lives. The two come hand in hand. Does chronic stress reduce your lifespan? Probably. Does it increase your chance of developing a disease? Most probably. Does it have a wider impact on those you look after and care for? Most certainly.

And Repeat

If you work with me, you'll have heard me say before; our environment is not designed to support healthy behaviours. Your workplace is designed to keep you as close to your desk as possible. Bus stops are getting closer and closer together. Supermarkets present the lowest quality, ultra-processed food in the most prominent places. Schools are banning hopscotch, running, handstand and cartwheels. You have to be smart if you want a high quality of life beyond 50. Despite what you may read, our fantastic health service, which has given so much to me and my family, will continue to nurse people through later life and provide the best level of care in the world. What society will not do is encourage you to do less, spend more time with friends and family and drink more coffee. Instead, drugs will continue to be developed for modern diseases and in not so long be delivered via drone.

The dank smell of a freshly run mop and bucket cuts through the mellow coffee I’ve been enjoying. It’s closing time. Over the space of a few coffee’s, problems are solved, stress levels are reducing and the strain of life diminishing.  It’s simple, but like all good things, effective. Did it take some time out to their day? Yes. Will they regret that ‘wasted time’? No. Personally, I'd rather make the days count, rather than count the days.

Take Aways

1. Take the '360 stress test' here, its free and find out where the bulk of your stress is coming from - http://www.assessmentgenerator.com/sys/?module=assessment&action=assessmentDisplay&assessment_id=2895

2. Download 'Pomodoros' (chrome extension) and get more productive at work - https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/marinara-pomodoro%C2%AE-assist/lojgmehidjdhhbmpjfamhpkpodfcodef?hl=en

3. Watch this and smile - https://imgur.com/gallery/ZyUM5Ht

Bite the Bullet

Coined by Rudyard Kipling, it's a phrase we all find easy to say but hard to put into action. As a coach, I find this conundrum fascinating. In fact, I would go as far to say that 90% of what I do revolves around teaching people how they can take themselves from their usual comfort zone to feeling empowered to make real progress towards their goal. This isn't to say I don't struggle sometimes when arriving at a crossroads. Every day, decisions need to be made. And we are all guilty of tackling the ones we feel best equipped to handle. It's just easier to keep things safe, in control and predictable.  
 
Learning something new; a language, skill or behaviour is a key part of living a fulfilled and happy life. We understand the importance of education for our children, but why should it stop when we leave school? How to learn, incidentally, is not something we are taught at school. It's assumed that you arrive at your school desk, wide-eyed, nervous and equipped to learn. The information we are required to 'know' is delivered and you're expected to remember it. But learning is a skill and not everyone has the tools to learn efficiently. Albert Einstein highlighted the importance of learning wonderfully, 'once you stop learning, you start dying'. 
 
So the question is, 'how do I learn how to learn?'. 7 years ago, I was rowing training in Nottingham. It was a cold winter's day and I had been learning to row a single scull, which is a boat for 1 person with 2 oars. These boats are difficult to balance and the risk of falling overboard is ever-present. Any discrepancies in technique are quickly exposed in the single scull, unlike the bigger more stable 8 oared boats. The morning training involved a long row around the lake, one boat behind the other, followed by some shorter racing side-by-side. When it comes to racing, I have always found I have a 6-the gear that is not available for training. It's like my body goes into a garage (like on the video game Need-for-Speed) on the way to the start-line and I get mental and physical 'upgrade'. It allows me to push myself to the limits. I found this paid dividends in sports when I knew the terrain or was familiar, but as a relative beginner in the single scull boat, it was risky. Going off, it was less than 3 strokes before I was in. My maximum effort had spilt overboard and instead of propelling my boat towards the finish line, had catapulted me into the choppy lake. After a short moment of panic when my feet failed to release from the boat (which was now upside down), I managed to swim with the boat to the side of the lake. One of the coaches looked down from the bank, "Would you like to get out or row to the finish?". I got back into the boat, shaking uncontrollably from the cold, I moved slowly towards the finish, knowing my finish time would probably not fit on the results sheet. After a couple of minutes, heat began to reach my hands again. With confidence growing with every stroke, I began to press harder, 4th, 5th gear. I was moving well, 'this feels good!' 6th gear. SPLASH. I couldn't resist. Technically, the race was lost, but my brain took over. I was in again. Now only 500m from the finish, with some 40 other rowers looking on in dismay, I managed once again to climb back in and gently row my boat across the finish line. It was a cold, embarrassing and wet experience. 
 
After dinner that evening, I bumped into the coach who had posed the question earlier beside the lake. I told him I was disappointed and I'd not seen anyone else fall in today. Perhaps I was doing some wrong technically? Was the boat set-up wrong? His words stuck with me; "Falling in shows that you are trying. If you were playing it safe, not taking any risks, then you wouldn't have fallen in. You learn far more from your failures than your successes". At the time I felt this was just philosophical nonsense and an attempt to make me feel better. It wasn't until a few years later that the Coach's words began to take effect. 
 
Fear of failure is dangerous. I'd failed at things before that day in Nottingham and, of course, will continue to make mistakes through life. Some of my failures have been far more impressive than the capsize(s) in Nottingham! I hope that over the years I have become better not at failing less often, but at learning more from my failures. Reflecting afterwards and asking those difficult questions. What happened there? If you are not prepared to learn from your mistakes, you will have a much slower path to success. Many people are afraid of failure. Embarrassed, awkward, ashamed are all adjectives that often come to mind when thinking about encountering a situation that removes you from your comfort zone. Paradoxically, the feeling you get in your stomach before encountering an important test or exam, butterflies, is actually a good thing. It shows you care. The ability to harness that feeling and recognise that the chemicals your body is releasing are preparing you for battle is crucial. 
 
Paralysis by analysis is another phrase that can be used to explain why that to-do list isn't getting finished. For many beginners, this couldn't be truer. Sometimes, we want everything to be perfect before we begin. Everything must correct and ready before taking action. Surgeons and Pilots exempt, I would say this is somewhat of a metaphorical anchor. If you are not ready now, what will have to change to get you ready? As the indomitable coxswain, Gary Herbert said to his rowing crew in the 92 Olympic Final, "If not now, when? If not you, who?". 
 
I believe the notion that we can all learn from our mistakes if we are prepared to make them in the first place. Every day I take people out of their comfort zone and show them what they are capable of. So bite the bullet and take action. What's the worse that could happen?
 

How to curb cravings for good.

Regardless of where you sit at the table of nutritional ambiguity, one thing we can all unanimously agree on is processed junk food will not assist any weight-loss effort. This should come as no surprise although I'm sure if you search hard enough you'll find a diet which involves only drinking processed meal supplements. Oh, wait...

Now you've tried what must be the dullest, most unpalatable 'weight-loss' fad EVER and hold all such practices in total disdain, the time has arrived to apply common sense and cut out the crap. But how? 

Food vices are weird and wonderful. At school, I had a mild addiction to the Cadbury Boost Bar, a hyper-sweet confectionery containing no less than 51g of sugar. On arriving home from school one day, Mum presented me with an industrial size box of these borderline psychotic sweets. 2-hours and 5 bars later I vowed never to eat another. All was not lost though, I made a reasonable margin on the surplus stock to the eager Year 6's at school. To this day, I could count the number of Boosts I've had since on 1 hand. This experience taught me 2 things; consuming 5 Boosts in 2 hours morphs a shy, gangly child into a wild banshee and that bulk purchases can not only save you money but also make it. 

We could infer that this may be a way to crack cravings? 'Flooding' is a technique used by therapists to help people overcome phobias.  Suddenly exposing yourself to the very thing you are afraid of with hope this will 'break' the phobia and rationalise it. The difficulty in taking this approach with cravings is most people have more than one. Having a 'sweet tooth' could cover a plethora of foods and I'd guess there would be considerable weight gain before the cravings are curbed. 'Flooding with Chicken Nuggets' sounds more like a challenge on a game show hosted by Noel Edmonds than a legitimate technique for ending a craving.

Looking at smokers, the latest 'best' advice is to go cold-turkey (with additional help from talking therapy and/or drugs), and practically, this makes sense. Tapering off an addictive substance is notoriously difficult. Despite gradually reducing your intake of the addictive substance, you continue to feed the addiction and simply require less of the bad thing. 

I find craving and addictions fascinating. Most of the food-related stories written by tabloid papers simply aim to tell us what we should or should not eat (which changes weekly), without addressing how. The fact that most of the people I work with have a self-confessed addiction and understand what constitutes healthy eating tells me that the basic knowledge usually exists, but actually making the change is the hard part.

I enjoy keeping at the sharp end of lifestyle intervention research as this information underpins my work and ultimately the success of the people I help. The important part is this: the science simply makes the picture clearer; it provides depth, detail and colour. Each person is unique and with their own problems. And the reality is a lot of this stuff is much simpler than we are initially led to believe. I teach more 'how' instead of 'what'. And this is probably why you are reading this on my website and not in the Daily Mail.

It isn't uncommon for people to confuse hunger and cravings. There is no doubt that the two are linked, but the mechanisms are subtly different. When energy intake from food is drastically cut, as in a severe calorie reduction diet (c.1200 calories/day), hunger (eventually) reduces accordingly. The notion that not eating anything means you will feel hungry and induce cravings is incorrect. Cravings will slowly subside due to the fact they have been removed (though virtue of the diet) but weight-loss will quickly grind to a halt as your metabolism adjusts to the new, low energy intake. Hunger is a normal hormonal response. It can be manipulated and indeed controlled by eating a diet of real food (but that is for another post). Cravings are different. If you remove sugar from your life, eventually you will no longer crave it. There is an element of perseverance here. Prolonged very-low-calorie-diets (VLCD) that are bound by a rule-book or assigned a colour are neither helpful nor healthy. They will no doubt lead to an initial small weight-loss and feeling of victory but sustainability is unrealistic and likely to result in an almighty binge at (insert fast-food outlet). 

If you've arrived here ready to act on your cravings the good news is you're 9/10th's of the way there.  The next stage is to equip yourself with the information so you can go forward with the battle already won. 

6 simple steps to take you from contemplation to action.

Step 1: Correctly identify your addiction. 

Oreo's? Pringles? Cookies? Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Write a list of the foods you feel you are addicted to. Be honest and thorough. Can these be grouped into a category? Sweet food in packets? Fast food from takeaways? Chocolate bars? Baked goods? Most people crave foods that hit what manufacturers call the 'Bliss Point'. A chemically attained blend of sugar and fat which lights the brain up, makes you feel great (for all of 3 minutes) followed by a wave of guilt and eventual weight gain. 

Step 2: Remove all these food from your environment:

Begin with your home. Strip it bare and take it to a food bank or bin it (or sell it). Don't hide it or take it to work; remove it from your life. Then get it out of your workplace. Don't sit near the biscuit tin in the staff room. Don't keep 'emergency supplies' in your drawer. If possible, take only your lunch to work and no money. 

Step 3: Tell people what you are doing and justify it.

If you are going to stop eating crunchy-nut, you'll need to explain this and explain why. “I'll be eating omelettes for breakfast now, guys. Crunchy nut makes me fall asleep on my keyboard by 10am”.

Step 4: Go shopping.

If you are serious about kicking these craving, expect to put some work in. Simply saying it does not cut it. You'll need to invest. I recently met someone who spends £200/month on lunch. And they weren't even nice lunches. The main problem was that this worked out at 12% of their monthly income: on rubbish, fast-food lunches. If this sounds familiar, I challenge you to save your lunch receipts for a week, add them up and then spend the same amount in a supermarket (or better, a butcher, veg stall and fishmonger) and see what you get. You'll be eating rib-eye steak from a Tupperware. Winner!

Step 5: Decide what you want to replace these foods with? 

Simply cutting these foods out will leave a hole in your day. Unlike smoking, foods are required to repair the body and if you just cut meals, things will come unstuck, and quickly. Be smart and create a plan to swap. As a guide, aim to swap your addicted food for something whole and in its real form. 

Example: Unhealthy addiction: Crunchy Nut Cornflakes with milk. Replace with a healthy: 3 egg omelette and cheddar cheese. 

Step 6: Stay focused. 

Don't expect everything to be plain sailing. It's an addiction after all! You need to be prepared to be consciously replacing unhealthy foods, trying new foods and having slip ups.
Always think ahead. The most common reason for falling down are:

- When you have time off, eg: the weekend/holiday/long drive. Tip: Keep busy and take good food with you.
- With friends. Be courageous and explain what and why you are doing. There is nothing wrong with looking after yourself. 
 - Illness. If you fall ill, put only the best foods into your body. This will give you the best chance of getting better sooner. 
- Alcohol. Hangover = sofa + pizza. WRONG. Get outdoors, take a walk and eat some good, nutritious food. Don't wallow. Unhealthy behaviours drive unhealthy behaviours. Be aware of the trap. 

To be clear, if you have a specific addiction to a certain food then my advice is to go cold-turkey using the steps above. The caveat is you MUST have a plan AND support beforehand. Don't be the 'I'm starting my new diet on Monday' person. If you need a week or a month to prepare, take the week the time. The key is when you decide to do it, do it properly. Finally, I would not recommend eating 5 tubs of Haagen Dazs in an evening to crack your ice-cream addiction. Although if anyone does try this, please let me know how you get on.